When you are talking to people, the majority of what you are communicating has nothing to do with your words or mouth. You communicate a lot about yourself and your comfort level in the environment just with how you stand in the room. Look at the guy in the above picture. He is smiling nicely, looks healthy, and seems to be in decent shape. There is something strange about it though. It’s those arms. Why are they crossed like that? He is communicating that he is nervous with his body language like that. It’s a subconscious thing that all men do. Your body acts out in ways that you are not even aware of. Next is this time honored favorite.
Yep, the hands in the pockets. He is more comfortable with his surroundings than the guy above, but he is still communicating nervousness. In most social situations, all the guys will be standing in a similar fashion to this. So let’s look at another picture and I want you to figure out for yourself why these guys seem so incredibly awkward.
One has his hand in his pocket, one has his hands on his hips, one has his arms crossed, and the other is nursing that drink right in front of him. It’s a collage of all the things not to do to communicate being relaxed. So, how should you stand? Yeah, there really is only one way left. With your hands by your side.
I can’t tell you how difficult and powerful this is all at the same time. It communicates huge amounts of information about you. To another guy, there is nothing special, but imagine you are a woman who is smaller and weaker. Instead of walking up to a guy who is acting nervous and defensive, he is open and relaxed. This makes you approachable, but more importantly, it makes you stand out. The majority of the guys in the room will not look like this. They will be communicating nervousness without knowing it. You will be the guy who is not. You will feel like a goof ball the first few times you do it, but just see how different a conversation is with a woman when you speak to her with your hands in your pockets verses this.
This is only the first step in proper body language, but it’s one you can practice anywhere with anyone. So go outside and try and start some conversations. Talk to old ladies if you are just too nervous to approach attractive women. Open up your body language and get used to the feel of it. After a while, this will become normal for you.